243. Flu Shots

"Do you want a flu shot?" I asked my daughter slyly.

"Yeah!" She squealed with great delight, and jumped excitedly. 

"I guess we'll get that flu shot now and spare another trip. 

Why not when she's excited?" I said, fixing her clip.

The nurse retrieved two flu shots, one for Thomas; One for Jane.

Jane bounced around like fire was going through her brain.

"I'm getting a shot!" She sang and danced. "I'm going to get a band-aid! 

Oh! My skirt!" For jumping dropped it. The darling thing was hand-made.

The nurse returned and asked my Jane when she wanted to go.

"Thomas first or Janey first? Come on. Up you go."

"Janey first! And I'll be brave! See, Thomas, it's okay!"

She settled down upon the bench and quietly she lay.

Thomas watched as Janey took her shot without a cry. 

She just said "ouch" and looked at me, a smile in her eye.

"I did it, Tom! I didn't cry! I'm a big girl now!

Here! Your turn. You can do it! I will show you how."

Then Thomas lay upon the bench and Janey held his hand.

She told him he would be alright. She knew he'd understand.

The shot was given. A little whine emerged from Tommy's throat.

But then he looked at Janey in her little purple coat.

He stopped his cry before it started. He gulped back every fear,

Because he knew his sister was standing very near.

The shots were through. Both yelled with joy! The hardest part was done.

Then all that's left was ice cream, which Jane and Thomas fairly won.

242. Jesus Christ Loves You

Trials come and trials go

Life is full of wants and woe 

But we can always simply know

That Jesus Christ loves you

Life is full of crazy stress

Your job is hard; your home's a mess

But you must feel that warm caress

For Jesus Christ loves you

Only you can choose your way

Only you can seize the day

You nist never be afraid

For Jesus Christ loves you 

The sun is shining full and bright

You are fixed with glorious light

You will conquer every flight

For Jesus Christ loves you

241. Peter Boyle

Peter Boyle is the monster that young Frankenstein created.

He grunts and groans and terrifies the father that he hated.

Peter Boyle is the father of a comatose fiancé.

He paid for teeth and outfits that would shame even Beyoncé.

Peter Boyle is the husband of a crazed, insulting mother.

He understands the in-law's plight, but much prefers the brother.

240. A Good Cook

After a rough day, we sat down to a very, very simple dinner of macaroni and cheese and poptarts (Janey's choice). It was that kind of a day. I can't even make it better by saying it was deliciously gooey and scrumptious Mac n cheese. 

It came out of a box.

And I didn't even make it; my husband played chef.

But that's just how the day was. 

I did well the rest of the week. We had Apple pork chops, a peanut satay, some delicious chicken and rice casserole, and I'd even baked some fresh bread. But tonight was boxed macaroni and cheese.

We sat down, said our prayer, and started eating. After a few bites Janey piped up, in quite a chipper voice, "this is so yummy! You're a good cook!"

Out of habit, I replied "thank you." 

Her response: "No, Mommy, Daddy is a good cook."

Guess who's not getting brownies tomorrow.

239. Excuses

Sometimes you are lonely

Sometimes you feel scared

Sometimes you are hungry

Sometimes unprepared

Sometimes you are cold

Sometimes you are hot

Sometimes you are happy

Sometimes you are not

Sometimes you need water

Sometimes you turn red

Whatever your excuse is

Please, go back to bed

238. Haikus

I like my haikus

Because they don't take much time

And I don't feel well

237. Agony

Did I abuse it

Or show it disdain?

Why won't it flush for me?

If I should lose it

How shall I regain

The comfort it brings to me?

Agony! 

Beyond power of speech

When the one thing you want

Is the only thing out of your reach.

There by the shower

It sits by the hour

With no water there

Welcoming, calling me, frequently humming

And choking on air.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-

Agony!

Far more painful than yours

When you know you could just drop poo

If there only were doors.

Agony!

Oh the torture for me

What's as elating

Or half so frustrating

As needing to pee?

Am I not holding it

Waiting

Impatient

Miserable

Just dancing here

Hoping

They'll turn on the water

That just will not come?

I'm about to explode on the floor here

The why no-?

Do I know?

The plumbers are mad!

You know nothing of madness

Til you have to pee now

And your waiting but how

Can you go when they've

Shut off the water they've 

Said that there's a cow in there

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Agony!

Misery!

Woe!

Though it's different for each.

Always empty and dry

Always that empty bowl

And it's just out of reach!

Agony

That can cut like a knife

Have to pee for my life!

236. Teleport Me

Teleport me to your time.

Let me see what cost a dime.

What kind of treasures are not mine?

What can you do to stop this time?

Teleport me to your side.

Let me now in you confide.

What kind of stars will us divide?

What can you do when we've arrived?

234. The Clean House Joke

"A clean house is a happy house"

The doctors said to me.

This is the advice they give

When I go to therapy.

"It keeps you calm and healthy,

And makes you more stress-free."

They must not have a son that's one

And a daughter who is three.

There's kicking and there's screaming

There's punching in the knee.

More messes made than cleaned, I fear.

It's driving me crazy.

So when the doctor says that I 

Should clean more frequently,

I'll tell him that's a funny joke

And save my sanity.

233. Haiku

Haikus aren't wordy 

With only a small handful 

They pack a full punch

232. Fan Theory

Since the release of Disney's Frozen I have heard a lot of crazy fan theories. Some logic, some wacky. I've even got one of my own, but that's a story for a different post.

This past weekend director Chris Buck confirmed one such fan theory: that Tarzan is the brother of Anna and Elsa. 

Now, I'm all about connecting stories and having alternate, on-screen universes. Pixar has done a great job of intertwining its movies. (You can find an excellent theory connecting all of Pixar's movies here http://jonnegroni.com/2013/07/11/the-pixar-theory/)

And I'm all about movie studios giving the fans what they want (Jurassic World was definitely a movie made for the fans, and look how well it did at the box office!).

But sometimes it just doesn't work out. Some stories can't be related. Maybe they're set in different time periods. Maybe on different planets. And here is where I take issue with Chris Buck's statement. Though the idea of Tarzan and the Frozen girls being related is nice, the evidence works against the theory.

1). The couples have different hair colors.

This one's pretty simple. Tarzan's dad has brown hair and his mom has red. Anna's dad has red/blonde hair and her mom has dark brown. I could see people writing this off as a lighting issue, but we see both sets of parents in multiple types of lighting. Also, Tarzan's dad's facial hair. Though I admire it, I find it very hard to believe that lovely stach-and-chops was grown in just two weeks, assuming the ship sank on their journey home and the king didn't bother to keep himself clean-shaven for his niece's wedding (a theory I can, in fact, get behind).

2. "See you in two weeks."

This two-week limit really makes things awkward for the Tarzan-Frozen theory. When the queen boards the ship, she has no baby. She's not noticeably pregnant. There's never any mention of a young son, a possible male heir, the mourning of a brother. Nothing. This means that if the two stories are related, No one knew about Tarzan. Okay, so maybe she was barely pregnant? Maybe she had him while they were on the trip. But Anna clearly states they are expected to return in two weeks. That's not enough time to have a baby. Also, if the queen were 38 weeks pregnant and had somehow managed to keep her pregnancy hidden (literally), I highly doubt she would risk traveling on a ship to a foreign kingdom when she was so close to giving birth. 

I will admit this one is possible if Tarzan is not Anna's biological brother, but is adopted. Why the king and queen would go to another kingdom to adopt, I can't say. 

He could also be the illegitimate son of the king, but I'm guessing not. 

3. Fire vs Water

This is the one I think most people forget/choose to ignore. Though the whole theory is based on the fact that both sets of parents include a sinking ship, the scenarios of the ship sinking are totally different.

Tarzan's parents are seen abandoning a ship that is ON FIRE. Blazing. Burning. Smoke, cinders, heat. There is a stork in the background, and it isn't crazy to imagine that lightning is the cause of the ship's burning, but ultimately it is fire that brings their ship down. We see it slowly sink below the relatively calm waters.

Anna and Elsa's parents' ship is also seen struggling in a storm, but it disappears underneath a particularly huge wave. There is no fire at all. There are mountainous waves and driving rain. Water, water, everywhere. But not a spark to be seen. The ship disappears all at once as it is swallowed up by the ocean. 

Fire -- no fire

Little waves -- waves big enough to capsize the royal passenger ship. 

See what I mean?

4. Location, location, location.

Based on other announcements made, artistic styling, costuming, architecture, and geography, Frozen is set somewhere in Scandanavia. And they are supposed to be back in two weeks. And yet, they somehow wash up somewhere on the coast of Africa? They clearly need to fire their captain....or just let him go down with the ship.

5. It's no less tragic

This one has less to do with the veracity of the theory than people's excitement about it. 

Since the announcement this weekend, I have seen so many people show their excitement that Anna and Elsa's parents lived. 

But no one seems to want to mention that Tarzan's parents GET EATEN BY A LEOPARD. Seriously, guys, how is that any better than drowning? It's not like they survive the storm and can somehow find their way home to be happily reunited with their daughters. The get eaten.

And if the kingdom of Arendelle didn't know the queen was pregnant/had a son, which they seem not to based on the brief mourning we see, why would anybody ever think to look for that baby?

If the crew of Jane Porter's ship returned to England with the story that Jane had stayed behind with a wild gorilla man, would anyone ever think "oh hey, maybe this random dude on this random beach just happens to be that baby we never knew about, all grown up"? And if by some chance somebody DID make the connection, what is that going to do to the kingdom of Arendelle? Will Elsa, after reigning for approximately twenty years, have to give up her thrown to a wild man who didn't even learn to speak English (which we assume is not the native language of the Scandanavian Arendelle) until his twentiesish? Is Arendelle going to accept their new-found Prince? Would Tarzan be able to handle living in the frigid north? Would Jane become the new queen?

I could go on and on with more questions like these, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say, things wouldn't be peachy.

All in all, I think declaring these two storyline a connected in this way is a long stretch that just has too many holes. It was a nice thought, but no, Disney, this one didn't work.

231. Poetry

Sometimes poetry can be frilly.

Sometimes it is simply silly. 

But if your name were Billy Gillie,

I'm sure you'd think it's willy-nilly.

230. Thomas Fell Out of The Bathtub

Thomas fell out of the bathtub today

Yes, Thomas fell out of the tub. 

He didn't climb 

and he didn't jump.

It was nothing more than a flub.

Thomas was splashing and laughing today.

Yes, Thomas laughed and splashed.

He threw his toys 

across the room.

He cried when they crashed. 

Thomas reached for his too-far toy today

Yes, Thomas reached for that toy.

But his slick belly slid 

and he toppled out.

His wail was not for joy.

Thomas was caught by the toilet today.

Yes, the toilet caught my son.

As he fell to the floor,

His head stuck tight.

It couldn't have been very fun.

Thomas got back in the bathtub today.

Really, I put him in.

But he sat there nicely

And didn't stand up.

I don't think he'll do that again.

229. Glass Slippers

"Gold? Why gold?" 

Is the child so ungrateful? I have done as Ftari demanded. I have listened to this human's whine of self-pity. I have granted her wish. And she questions my generosity?

"Why gold?" I snap. "Why, indeed. Because you must be the most exquisite creature at the ball. Fur is too hot and would make you look clumsy, crystal is too heavy, pearls are out of season, and diamonds would ruin the floor. No, gold is the only option."

"But I cannot stand out. My step-mother would notice me before I even have a single dance. What about linen? Linen is fashionable, but not gaudy." This is why I hate humans. They are never satisfied. 

"Every girl and her mother will be there in linen. You must be above them by far."

"I am not worthy of such beautiful shoes. I appreciate the help you have given me, truly. The carriage is marvelous. This dress is lovely! But please, the shoes are too much. There must be something else. You can do. Or I could wear my own."

Has this girl any idea what she says? "By the great fairies of the seasons, if those are shoes, I am a toadstool. Throw those out at once! What a disgrace! Is that all you have for your feet? Your humans are worse than most. Fine. If you truly cannot wear the gold, I will come up with something else."

I look around for inspiration. There must be something here I can work with. But this place is so dark and damp. How can any creature survive living here? I know that humans are vile, but this is worse than even I could have imagined. There is mold on the windows. There is dung on roadway. The roses have withered at the foul spirit of this place. The only beauty in this place is this wretched child and the pictures in the window glass. 

The glass! That is it. 

"Up, up, up," I demand. "Come with me. Yes, yes, now turn around. More, girl!" My brilliance is thrilling even me. A laugh bursts from my lips. "We'll need to change your gown a bit. This dress was meant for gold. But no matter." A flick of my wrist and the golden volumes turn into the blue of a mountain stream. I trim the skirt until it flutters like the ripples of a pond. I add a shimmer, just enough, like the sea reflecting the sun. Her mask changes from the glimmer of gold to the deep blue of the ocean. She gasps and twirls. Yes, even I am pleased with this creation. "And now, the shoes." The gold melts away into the clarity of crystal lake. 

"Glass?" She whispers. Yes, she is awestruck. Who wouldn't be? "Will they break?"

Silly human. "Of course not. I am not so foolish as to allow that. They are a fairy gift, imbued with fairy magic. They cannot break while you wear them. A fairy's gift can only be destroyed by evil. And I sense no evil in you, child." This place is another matter. There is something here that chills me. "They will not attract the attention you so wish to avoid, but they are splendid, aren't they?"

"Oh, yes, ma'am. Thank you, so much." She throws her arm around me and I stretch back, but her hold is firm. A hug? It has been so long since somebody hugged me that I am not sure what to do. So I wait. The contact is short, but nice. 

How silly of me. This human is ridiculous. It is only a dress and some shoes. I can just see Ftari's smirk in my mind's eye. "That's enough now." I pull my arms out of her embrace and she releases me. "Hurry along or you won't have much time for dancing. You must be gone before the tower clock strikes the midnight hour. That pumpkin must be back on its vine by then or it won't grow properly, do you understand?"

She nods her head and climbs into the golden carriage. I shake my head. Silly, demanding human. The gold was so lovely. The gold fades into the dark green of the pumpkin vine, a more fitting tone to her watery gown. 

"Be off," I tell the lizard-human. He snaps the reins and the mice-horses rear into a prance. The silly child leans her head out the window and waves goodbye to me. Silly human. She'll muss her hair doing that.

I whisper a reminder for the wind to carry to her.

"Midnight."

235. Women Are Awesome (NT)

Mary was a woman chosen of the Lord.

When she did conceive, an angel brought her word.

She knew she could do it, though it would be hard.

She gave birth to Jesus, in a stable yard.

Elisabeth was old when she first got pregnant.

Her husband could not speak. To the temple he went.

John would be the name of her young blessed boy.

When Mary arrived, her baby lept with joy.

Anna was a woman, widowed many years,

But she served the Lord with fasting and with prayers.

She worked at the temple when the babe was brought,

She knew it was Jesus, so she praised and taught.

Martha was a woman. Her house was a mess.

When the Lord came teaching, she could just feel stress.

A clean house is nice, but learning is better.

That's what Martha learned when the Lord answered her.

Mary Magdalene was once a sinner sad.

But she then repented and it made her glad.

She followed her Lord and served him all his days.

She was first to see him after he was raised.

Joanna was a woman, blessed by Jesus Christ.

When he had been killed, she dressed him with rich spice.

He arose again. She saw he wasn't there.

She told the apostles; they ran back to stare.

Dorcas was a woman, known as Tabitha.

She did lots of service, for ladies in Joppa.

When she passed away the widows mourned all night.

Peter brought her back because she choose the right.

Rhoda was a woman. Peter was her friend.

She prayed, God in Heaven, let his sentence end.

Peter knocked upon the door the doorway to her place.

She was so surprised, she shut it in his face.

228. Women Are Awesome

1). Eve was a woman, first one that we know. 

She chose the path on which mankind would go.

Partaking of the fruit did not God's plan destroy.

Eve made that decision. Now we can have joy.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

2). Esther was a woman, married to the king.

Hamaan didn't like Jews. Destruction he would bring. 

Esther held a fast for three days and three nights

Hamaan's plan was foiled. The Jews were saved from fights.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

3). Ruth was a woman who left her land to wed.

Naomi was her mother-in-law. Soon their husbands were dead. 

Orpah went back home, but Ruth's love was too deep.

Ruth stuck with Naomi and worked for their keep.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

4). Miriam was a girl who watched her brother, dear.

She hid him in rushes out of mortal fear.

Once they were discovered, she knew what to say.

Phaorah's daughter mothered Moses from that day.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

5). Jael was a woman living in a tent.

When the evil king ran, to her home he went.

Though she let him hide, it all was just a fake.

When he fell asleep she killed him with a stake.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

6). Rahab was a woman. She hid Joshua's spy.

She knew God above had made the river dry.

When the king came looking, she threw him off the scent.

Her family was safe when Jericho's walls were rent.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

7). Abigail, a woman, cooked to stop a war.

David got rejected. His feelings were sore.

Abigail brought sheep, bread, raisins, corn and wine

To make peace with David while he sat to dine.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

8). Hannah was a woman barren all her life.

She prayed God would send a child to ease her strife.

When her prayer was answered, Hannah sang great praise.

She taught Samuel to serve God all his days.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

9). Now we have a world where women are demeaned.

But we're really stronger than we've ever seemed.

If we trust the Lord, he'll help us through each trial.

God is always with us. Greet Him with a smile.

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

We rule the earth!

Women are awesome. Women are awesome. Women are awesome.

Awesome from birth!

227. May Eagles Land

May Eagles land where you plant your seed

May mermaids swim by your flying steed

May demons cower at your heavenly grace

May angels fall when they see your face

For you are a blessing, a child of God

And nothing can stop you. Hold tight to the rod.

226. Game Night

Not many showed up

I did not win even once

But it was still fun

225. The World's on Fire

Well, what do you know

The world's on fire

What do you know

The world is square

What do you know

The world's my pire

What do you know 

The world's not fair

Each day we change a little more

Each day we change a little less

Each day we change a little closer

Each day we change is just a mess

What do you know

The world's on fire

What can we do 

To stop this mess

224. Today I Met A Lion

It was a normal day. I had my backpack with my school books and pencils and my lunchbox. Mom had lacked a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, some carrot sticks, some pretzels, and an apple turnover. 

The sun was shining. There wasn't a cloud in sky. I was three blocks from school when I turned the corner and right in my path was a lion!

A real, live lion standing right in front of me. He was just staring at me. He stared and he stared. Then he licked his paws and said "Hello." 

Well, what would you do if a lion spoke to you. I said hello right back to him.

"I'm very hungry," he said to me. "Do you have any zebras around here?"

"No," I said. The zoo was all the way downtown. 

"Any gazelle? Wildebeest?" 

I shook my head. "We have some dogs and cats, but I don't think their owners would be very happy if you ate them."

The lion frowned and rubbed his stomach. His stomach growled so loudly I thought it came from his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just so hungry. I could eat anything."

"How about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" I asked. I opened up my lunchbox and gave him the whole sandwich, wrapper and all. He ate it in one huge bite. Then he ate my carrot sticks, my pretzs, and even my apple turnover.

He said thank you and gave me a high five. Then he walked around the corner and out of sight. 

And that's why I don't have any lunch today. Can I have some of yours?

223. Stormy

It rains. It rains. The thunder soars. 

The lightning splits the sky.

The little drops begin to fall.

The babies start to cry.

222. I Have a Little Tutu

I have a little tutu.

It's fluffy and it's pink.

I wear my little tutu, too, when I swim with the whales who play.

I have a little tutu.

It makes me smile a lot.

I drip on my little tutu, too, when I'm licking a lollipop.

I have a little tutu.

I wear it all the time.

I dance in my little tutu, too, to two tubular tunes.

I have a little tutu.

It's my favorite thing.

I love my little tutu, too. It gives me happy thoughts.

221. The Temple Is The House Of God

The temple is the house of God.

It lights the way on earth

For us to go back home to heaven.

It teaches of our worth.

The temple is the house of God.

It seals our family.

As one we live throughout our life,

And to eternity.

The temple is the house of God.

I love to see its light. 

It leads me to a righteous path,

It guides through darkest night.

The temple is the house of God: 

A heaven here for me.

I'm thankful for the truth it brings.

It leads me, Lord, to thee.

220. Sediment

Little by little

The mountain crushes the rock

Sedimentary 

219. Alayna's Homecoming

Family all around the house

One two three four five six twelve

All the grandkids, uncles, aunts

Noise and thunder rumble loud

Run run run their feet explode

So excited. Alayna's home.

218. Naptime

Naptime is essential

To all who are involved.

There's none more influential

For a problem to be solved.

Cause of you don't have naptime

You all may just go wild.

You may not feel you're apt. I'm

Sorry you're not mild.

So take a nap for mother,

Before you drive her crazy,

And take with you your brother,

For he is just that lazy.

217. Oblivion Smiles

Sometimes there are no thoughts.

Sometimes there are no words.

You are greeted simply with a blank space.

An empty sheet.

A void.

Some people call it writer's block.

Some call it stress.

Some call it laziness.

To me it is oblivion.

Oblivion is safety.

Oblivion is chaos.

It is everything I reach for

And hope for.

It is the unformed matter of my imagination.

It is massive and unreachable

And yet it is minute and microscopic.

But it holds all hope.

It is oblivion.

And it smiles.

216. On the Path

Nothing can stop me

I'm on my way

Nothing can hurt me

I'm doing okay

I'm on the road

To another place

I'm on the road

And it's not a race

Power and strength 

Are my final goal

Power and strength 

are in my soul

215. To Sew

Up down up down up down up

Sew it. Stitch it. Close it up.

Down up down up down up down

Back and forth and all around.

Up down up down up down up

Bend it. Twist it. Fold it up.

Down up down up down up down

Seeing does not make me frown.

214. Adam Fell That Men Might Be

A few days ago I was reading my scriptures and came across a verse I have heard hundred times. "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (2 Ne 2:25).

Really, hundreds of times. It's one of the few scriptures I can quote verbatim. But I guess I never really really looked at it. I always just read it and moved on. I know Adam fell for men. I know men are supposed to be happy. Okay, cool. 

But this time I saw it differently. I suppose it has to do something with the Mary and Eve picture I wrote about last week. Or maybe I just read it at the right moment. Or maybe I just really needed to see it differently. I don't know. But this time I was caught by the comma. 

Yes, a comma. "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy." I had always assumed this was just fancy biblical language that tranated roughly to "Adam fell so men could live and men should be happy." But it's not. And men are. That's the main phrase. Men are. Adam (and, in my Eve/Mary mindframe, Eve) fell so that man could come to earth. And men are, men exists on earth so that they might have joy. 

This shed a whole new light for me. I know we came to earth to receive our physical bodies. I know we came to earth so that we can become like God. I know that we came to earth to prove ourselves and choose the right path. But all of this is for us. "Men are, that they might have joy." 

Adam and Eve didn't accidentally eat the apple. It wasn't Satan ruining God's plan. Eve knew that she would never know joy in the Garden of Eden, for without sin there can be no redemption. Without pain there can be no pleasure. She could not bring man into the world without the fall. The Fall was an intricate and essential part of the plan of salvation. She chose to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil. She chose to be the mother of all the earth. She chose to give life to men. And she couldn't have done it without Adam. Adam and Eve fell so that men might live on earth; and men live on earth, so that they might find joy in eternal life.

Glory, Hallelujah!

213. Sean the Salesman

So this guy knocked on the door at five o'clock sharp the other day. First off, who's actually home from work at five on the dot? Not my husband, usually. School teachers, yes, but not someone who works 8-5 unless they have a two second commute time. Anyway, back to Sean the Salesman. 

So I open the door and there's this nice-looking young man selling lawn-watering systems. I'm sure you've seen them around. They're a dime a dozen. Now, normally when these salespeople come by I listen for three seconds and say I'm not interested and that's that. But for whatever reason I thought "you know, I actually think I do want what this guy is selling." But as I said, my husband isn't home at five sharp and a high class lawn-watering system is probably something we ought to discuss before purchasing. 

So I told Sean the Salesman, to come back in about an hour when my husband will be home. The hour came and went and he didn't come back, but that turned out alright because my husband didn't either. By seven thirty he was home and I'd complete forgotten about Sean the salesman. 

Half an hour later I was putting the kids down when the doorbell rang. Up to my elbows in baby poop, I didn't think it would be very appropriate for me to run downstairs and quickly explain to Jake my mistake. I heard the door open, heard the usual "sorry, we're not interested," the unusual murmured exchange, and then the door shut.

 Having finished with my cleanup, I headed down the stairs as Jake was headed up. "Did "so-and-so" company stop by today?" He asked.

Oops. Cough. "Uh, yeah," I say back. "I told him to come back when you were home."

"Oh. I told him we weren't interested. Are we?"

"I actually am a bit."

"Oh. You didn't tell me about it."

"Yeah. I forgot. Oh well."

And I figured that was that. I went downstairs to turn on a show to rest a bit before cleaning. Feeling sick is an exhausting business. Jake went upstairs to change into his workout clothes and hit the gym. 

He came back down, kissed me goodbye, and headed out to the car. Now, our couch sits against the wall of the garage. It's the only logical place for it. So it's no miracle that I could hear Jake talking to someone outside. At first I figured it was our neighbor and I kept scrolling through Netflix trying to find a show. But they kept talking and talking and talking. And then I realized the voice talking back (it got closer and thus louder) was a man. Turns out Jake had seen Sean the Salesman in the street, and rather than ignore him and let me feel the consequences of my forgetfulness, he flagged Sean the Salesman down, admitted we had had a miscommunication and asked about his system. And then he spent the next twenty minutes discussing options and pricing and what-not with a salesman he had dismissed, because I was interested, even though he wasn't at all. Now that's true love: giving up your limited man-time to do something for your wife. He's awesome. 

But poor Sean the salesman. We got his hopes up. Smashed them. Got them up again. Smashed them. Turns out a lawn-watering system is a bit more expensive than we're willing to pay just yet. But I guess that's what you sign up for when you move from Utah to Texas to become a salesman.