Now, in Janey's defense, the last time I cut my hair was almost two years ago, she wasn't even two. The cut didn't phase her then. And my haircut today wasn't small. I chopped a good ten inches.
But it wasn't that she didn't recognize me. After a few minutes of me questioning and her crying, I figured out that she wasn't scared OF me; she was scared FOR me.
Janey's only real experience with haircuts is "Tangled." Spoiler alert: Throughout the whole movie, the importance of Rapunzel's long hair is a huge theme. Then, at the end, her hair is cut. Flynn Rider dies. Mother Gothel dies. Rapunzel cries. Rapunzel no longer has her magic. Now, the movie has a happy ending and all is well, but apparently the hair-cutting scene is very, very dramatic.
So here I come, Janey's hero, and I've had my hair cut off. She was scared for me because she thought I was sad and in trouble, and hurt. She loves me so much that she was devastated that I had gone through an ordeal similar to Rapunzel's.
It's taken me several hours to work this all out. Between sobs I deciphered "Rapunzel," "cut your hair," "hurt," and "scary."
I was able to talk with her and let her know I was okay. I told her I wasn't hurt, that I was still me, and that I was still her mommy. I reminded her of other mommy's she knows who have short hair. I told her Mulan cuts her hair and is happy, but she's only seen it once, and she's never seen Snow White, so that was out. Seriously, guys, all the other princesses have long hair.
She calmed down enough that her cries turned into silent weeping. Then, about half an hour after I picked her up, we met my husband for lunch. As soon as she saw him she burst into tears again and ran to tell him about "mommy's scary."
My husband and I ate our lunch and tried to get Janey to eat hers, but she was just too worried to eat. She just sat there looking at me with sadness.
Eventually, we gave up on getting her to eat. We got distracted by Thomas throwing his veggies on the floor and talking about my husband's morning. After about 15 minutes of sitting in silence, Janey whispered "Bolt." Then, a little louder, with us watching her, she said "Bolt. Bolt's friend has short hair. Bolt's friend is good!" By the end of her sentence, she was smiling. She had been sitting there the whole time trying to find a way to make sense of a happy girl with short hair, and had realized on her own that Bolt's owner, Penny, was a good, happy character who had short hair.
After her discovery, she was able to eat. She had just needed to find someone in her world to prove that I really was safe.
She was still a little wary of my hair until naptime, but after she woke up, she decided that my "Penny hair" was not a bad thing anymore.
It's amazing to me how much goes on in her little three-year old brain. There's so much that she doesn't tell me. I never would have thought she associated short hair with danger. I didn't know she could feel that much fear for my safety.
I'm so glad I have my little girl to love me so dearly.
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