212. Berto

Bubbling bouncy baby brother

Everyone's enjoyment

Rumbly, raucous, riveting

Taught terrible tantrums

Oy 

211. Heaven and Earth

I lived in Heaven

I lived with Him there

I fought in the war 

For our freedom so fair

I chose this earth-life

I chose to obey

To learn good from evil

Each night and each day

My Heavenly Parents

My family so dear

All stand beside me

Their presence is near

One day I'll rejoin them

When my time is done

I'll go back to Heaven

My fight I'll have won.

210.The girl with the purple hair

The girl with the purple hair

Is crazy as a loon

She rides around on shoes with wheels

And serenades the moon

209. Not-so-baby

My baby boy is growing up

I guess that's better than him throwing up

Today he turned one full year old

I guess that's better than him growing mold

He laughs and chatters all day long

I guess that's better than without song

He crawls around upon all fours

I guess that's better than eating floors

My baby boy is not a babe

He made it better with the hug he gave

208. Groceries

Grocery lists are great

They tell you all you what to purchase

If you read the list

207. Two-faced

Wickedly wonderful

Dastardly dashing

Marvelously magnificent

Harry the Hippo

206. Thomas And The Toothpaste

My three year old likes to brush his teeth. Unfortunately, he likes to brush them on his own. This often results in great globs of blue goo strewn all over the counter, down the sink, and, oftentimes, in his sister's hair bows. 

At first I thought he was simply playing with the toothpaste, squeezing it out of the tube and smearing it, just being messy as boys are. But this evening I had the glorious opportunity of getting all three kids ready for bed (I usually only have the charge of the youngest) and watched as Thomas stuffed a disgustingly lathered toothbrush into his face. I honestly do not know how that much toothpaste fit into his itty bitty mouth. I came in just as the toothbrush entered, and tried not to gag as blue goop oozed out with each jerk of his uncoordinated fist. When he finished, what little remained unswallowed or undribbled was spewed forth in a fantastic stream of expectoration. 

And now I know why the bathroom sink has blue streaks.

205. An Exercise in Frontrhyme

The sailor set the rigging

The tailor hemmed the sail

The bailer prepped the storage

The jailer checked the brig 

Falling fabric full of wind,

Small and large alike

Hollered loud to start the voyage

All aboard the ship 

204. The Sidehug That Touched My Heart

As we sang "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus" I watched two boys, eleven years old, wrap their arms around one another's shoulders and rock together to the best of the song. It was, to me, a sweet testament to the very song we sang. One of these boys has recently been struggling with his faith, but watching him happily sitting with his friend, listening to the words of Christ's love, I could feel the warmth of the Spirit. 

I do not know what lies ahead for these two boys. Will they remain friends? Will they stay faithful to Christ? Will they remember this small moment? I don't know. But I do know that this moment, and the peace that it brought to me will stay in my memory for a long while.

203. Haiku to the Power Rangers

Mighty is our strength

Morphing with power to save

We fight together

202. Play

Run and tumble

Climb and jump

Knock your head and get a bump

Play and giggle

Laugh and cry

Bounce until the skies are dry

Tumble in the

Dirt and air

Play away your every care

This is what 

All boys will do

Let them play away from you

201. Jessa and the Beanstalk (13)

"And how exactly do you get to this world in the sky?" Walters voice is full of skepticism. I wouldn't believe it either if I hadn't already been there. Explaining the inexplicable is rather harder than it seems. How do you explain the color red to a blind man? I have to show him.

I pull Walter to his feet and away from the beanstalk's base. 

As it reappears I smile and point to it. "What do you see here, Walter?" I ask calmly. 

"Jess..." he starts but I shush him. He shrugs and plays along.

"I see the fields. I see that boulder. I see you."

"But no way to get to the clouds?" I say, pointing toward my destination. 

He rolls his eyes at me, but plays along. "Nope. No magical ladders or towers giant eagles to carry me toward the heavens. Seriously, Jessa, if you want me around there are easier ways to get rid of me than this." 

He's got a sense of humor. I know he's curious or he would have abandoned this a long time ago. But I still don't know how to help him see the beanstalk. Merely telling him it is there hasn't worked. I place my hand gingerly on the stalk, looking to my friend for a response.

Nothing. My hands close around the soft tendrils that wind around my beanstalk which provide hand and footholds for my climb. Still his smirk remains, clearly waiting for something to happen.

Frustrated, I pull myself away from the ground. I cannot help but smile to myself as I climb higher. The freedom that first step provides exhilarates me. The sky is calling to me. 

But I have to stop. I grin down at Walter, eager to share my joy with him. His mouth hangs open in astonishment. Once again I have proven myself right. "See, I told..."

"How are you doing that?" He blurts at me.

Really, it isn't very difficult. Has he never climbed a tree before? "You just grab on to those and pull yourself up a..."

"You're in the air, Jessa!"

"I know I am. You don't expect to get to the sky without climbing up first, do you."

His arms flail wildly toward me. "There's nothing...there's nothing there!! How are you...what...what...how?" He can't see it. I must look like a devil to him. "Calm down, Walter. I'm coming back down." 

He walks toward me again, his curiosity overcoming his awe. Too late I realize he's going to walk into the beanstalk and one of us is going to pay for it.

200. There's a hair in my cookie

There's a hair in my cookie, dear Henry, dear Henry. There's a hair in my cookie, dear Henry, a hair.

Then pluck it, dear Liza, dear Liza, dear Liza. Then pluck it, dear Liza, dear Liza. Pluck it.

But it's baked in the cookie, dear Henry, dear Henry. It's baked in dear Henry. Baked in! 

So eat it, dear Liza, dear Liza, dear Liza. So eat it, dear Liza, dear Liza. Eat it.

That's disgusting, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. That's disgusting Dear Henry, dear Henry. Disgusting.

Whose is it, dear Liza, dear Liza, dear Liza? Whose is it, dear Liza, dear Liza? Whose hair?

It's mine, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. It's mine, dear Henry, dear Henry. Mine.

But how do you know that, dear Liza, dear Liza? But how do you know that, dear Liza? How?

It's bright blue, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. It's bright blue dear Henry, dear Henry. Bright blue!

Oh. Yep, it's yours.

199. Flower Power

Motorcycles, rough and tough

I'm so manly, big and buff

I'm so awesome, full of power

Oh look, Mommy, here's a flower

198. Paralysis

Exercise and I have never been good friends. And by that I mean I hated Exercise, Exercise hated me, and we had a mutual understanding of avoidance. But I very recently decided we needed to put our past behind us and come to terms with one another.

The friendship is coming along rather better than I expected it would, but we do occasionally have our hiccups. 

Feeling pretty confident about our newly acquired stability, I decided today to delve a little deeper into my relationship with Exercise. Weights. Now, I have to admit today was my first encounter with weights, aside from the little one-pound purple bars my mom had in the house. Thus, I was a little hesitant to broach this particular aspect of Exercise's personality, but with the encouragement and guidance of two friends, I decided to make a go of it.

At first I thought "yeah, I can do this," "No problem," "doesn't even hurt!" and so on. Then those thoughts turned into "ooh maybe not," "nope, definitely not," "is there anything smaller?" and "oh gosh, I'm such a wimp!" But I kept on going because I'm prideful and I didn't want Exercise (or my two friends) to know he was winning this particular battle.

I believe it was during the fourth position (I know that's not the right word, but I'm so new at this that I don't know what the right word is) that my fingers started to tingle. No big deal, right? I shook my arms out and moved on. My friend pulled out the fifteen pounder (ugh, so much heavier than fifteen pounds should be) and started showing me what to do for this next set, and suddenly I realized that I had lost feeling in my left thumb. What?! Did not know that was a thing. 

So, there I am, trying to remain calm and appear less pathetic than I feel, and my friend tells me to grab the weight and start pumping it.

Nope. That did not happen. This is the part where I realized Exercise and I have NOT come as far as I had thought. I couldn't get my hands to close around the weight. At this point my friends take notice, and have me explain what I'm feeling. Throughout the following, my left was worse than my right.

My arms, from elbows to fingertips, tingled, except for the segments between my wrist and the top joint of my thumb on both hands. Those were numb. The tingling felt a lot like that "my foot's asleep" feeling, but less sharp. It never hurt. I left the weight and sat down on a bench, where I laid my hand down on my knees: or rather, I tried to. I laughed. I had discovered that my wrists were suddenly paralyzed. The only way I could get my palms to lay flat against my knees was to turn my entire arms so that my elbows stuck awkwardly up in the air. My concerned friends maneuvered my hands (I don't know if it was more out of concern or curiosity) so that they flat, but as soon as they released them, my palms popped back up. It was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen my body do. With effort I demonstrated that I could open and close my fists (I never tested individual finger movement). After a few moments of laughter, my friends suggested I lay on the floor to let my blood flow normalize, and within just a few minutes it did. I regained full function of all my extremities with only minimal tingling, and we moved on with our workout (though I didn't lift anymore weights). 

I experienced no pain or cramping (though there was a spell of dizziness). Now, three hours later, I feel perfectly fine. There is no sign that anything happened. 

What have I learned from this? Friendship is not easily won.

197. Joy

Joy, our purpose, our reason to live

Joy, our motive, our reason to give

Joy, to struggle, to grow, to learn

Joy, that feeling that makes our hearts burn

196. Engines

My lawnmower vrooms 

My train car zoom zooms

My motorbike zips on by

I love things that go

And motors that show

Because I'm a manly-type guy

195. Tucked In

As I laid my head on my sons pillow, Janie ran to her bed and grabbed a blanket. She covered me, making sure to tuck the small blanket around my toes and elbows (I had to curl up to assist her), and handed me a stuffed animal to cuddle. My eyes closed in feigned sleep and I tried to keep a smile hidden. Janie then bent down, kissed my forehead and whispered "Goodnight, Mommy. I love you" before turning off her bedroom light, walking out, and shutting the door.

It was ten o'clock in the morning.

194. Midnight

Baby vomited

Coughs. Puke. Mucus. Hack a lung.

Midnight hospitals

193. Husband

My husband is my honey,

My darling and my friend.

He is so kind and handsome,

A hunk from end to end.

And when he sits beside me

I know he cannot see

The little grin of joy 

His presence brings to me.

192. Boating

Last week we took the kids canoeing. I'm fairly certain it was the first time for all of them, though Janie has been on a jet ski. I wasn't too worried about her because she's always up for just about any adventure we could throw at her, as long as we're doing it with her. 

Thomas...Thomas is a different story. He doesn't care for new situations. He is very content right were he is, thank you very much. He doesn't want to meet new people, doesn't want to try new activities. 

And Berto's a baby. Opinion-wise I didn't think he'd care what we were doing. He was only going to worry about whether or not he got fed or could crawl around. 

So off we go with our canoes, Jay, Berto, and I on one and my in-laws with Janie and Thomas in the other. Berto was perfectly happy being held at the water's edge, but after about thirty seconds on the water he'd had enough of his life jacket and let everybody know it. Lucky for us he still conks out when he's tired or in the sun or rocked, and, what do you know, all three converged on him and the kid passed out after about five minutes of fussing on the gentle waves of the lake. I finally know where the phrase "slept like a baby" comes from. It's this kind of 'I'm so incredibly sound asleep, even though there's no possible way I'm comfortable, that I look like I'm dead' sleep. The kid was zonked and slept for the next hour and forty minutes. 

Then there was Thomas. Maybe it was because his grandparents were there, or maybe because he never actually had to get in the water, but the kid had a blast! He had his own oar and "helped" paddle the canoes around the lake. He got excited about all the boats, the bridge, the dock, and all the birds. I have never seen Thomas so happy surrounded by so much water. Seriously, try taking this boy to the pool and he gets super grumpy. Oh, he doesn't mind the ankle-deep stuff and he likes sprinklers and splash pads (but not showers) but actually getting into the pool produces tears and distress and a day full of resentment. So his excitement at canoeing was a huge and pleasant surprise.

And Janie? Her favorite part was finding the floating flowers (we found a lily pad patch). The rest of the time she just sat back with her feet up --because who wants to get their feet wet at the lake??? -- and ate snacks the ENTIRE TIME. Seriously, until the last ten minutes, every time I looked at her she had her hand in a bag of crackers or cookies or on its way to her mouth. But finally, as we headed back to shore I convinced her to sit with me and let her feet dangle in the water. She was nervous at first but eventually made her way to my lap and dropped her toe in. I don't think she ever stopped being nervous about it, but she did enjoy herself.

Oh yeah, we switched boats partway through the trip. Don't be confused. 

So, though nothing really turned out the way I expected it to, we all had a great time. Happy birthday, America!

191. Red Glasses

I like my red glasses

Oh yes I do

I like my red glasses

They make me feel cool

I like my red glasses

That sit on my nose

They help me see clouds 

And flakes when it snows

I like my red glasses

They make me eyes smile

I hope that I'll get 

To keep them a while

I like my red glasses

But don't ask me why

I sonMt know the answer

So don't even try

190. I Am Leah

I was marvelously happy for Rachel. She had waited seven years to marry the man she loved. She deserved the joy that her marriage would bring. Though my heart was heavy for my own continued loneliness, I held no contempt for my dear sister. 

Until that day, Rachel and I had been the best of friends. We were sisters, the only daughters in a household full of sons. We played together as children: learned together, grew together, ate together, sewed together. I taught her how to prepare bread and wash our brothers' feet. She comforted me after my first heartbreak. We were inseparable.

Perhaps Father was trusting to that bond when he made his decision. However, his trust was misplaced, and instead of strengthening our sisterhood by sending us to the same household, he shattered us.

Something inside my sweet angel broke when Father put me forward to Jacob. Trust, hope, love, charity, joy -- all were gone. She would not believe that I knew nothing of Father's intentions. I pleaded with her to hear me, but she would not listen. Even now, years later, she will not see my innocence. To her I am the enemy, the obstacle to her husband's love that she must beat. And I cannot blame her for loathing me. Everything she longs for, God has given me and withheld from her. I wish with all my heart that she would accept my love again. She is my sister -- my only sister. I hate what Father did, and yet, his choice has brought me my own joy: my sons, my beloved boys. I could not wish them away, even for my sister's happiness. Jacob is a good man. I do not mind my being given to him in marriage. He is a doting father and a kind husband. But I do wish Father had kept his word and given Rachel first. Perhaps then, she would not hate me as she does now. Jacob is an honorable man, and would have seen me cared for if only Father had asked. But his deceit had broken us all. 

And now, in her greatest time of need, I cannot comfort my own blood. The one blessing God chose to give, He has recalled. I see her stricken with anguish. Rachel's greatest joy is gone, and I cannot ease her burden. If I try, she will accuse me of boasting my own prosperity. If I stay away, I am heartless. 

"Dear God, what can I do for my sister now? Nothing. She is lost to me, just as surely as her son is lost to her. I know not why You have blessed me and cursed my sister. I have done nothing to deserve it. And she has only ever been faithful to you. And so I pray, I beg, Father, please ease her burden. She will not accept my love and comfort, so I beg of you, send her Yours. Release her from this agony. I will do whatever you ask of me. Strike me down in her place, I beg! Give her the glory and light that you have so long withheld. Do not let my sister pay for my father's sins."

And for Rachel I mourn again.

189. Mention Me

Mention me at the watering hole

My name will come to you

They gather there like flocks of mice

They scatter in the blue 

188. I Can.

I ran a mile today. Big whoop, you say? I know. It's not very impressive. My little brother ran in a Ragnar race last month. He's impressive. I'm pathetic. But the last time I ran a mile without stopping or slowing to a walk was....maybe in 7th grade? I don't actually remember if I ran the whole thing or stopped for any of it. But I know I haven't done it since then. 

And no, my time was not phenomenal. It wasn't even good. But it was a time. I have shown myself that I can. I can. I survived this thing that I have told myself I hate and that is beyond me for over 15 years. But today I did it. 

It wasn't easy. When I finished, my lungs hurt, my chest hurt, my legs felt like jelly, I was sweaty, and I had to steady myself several times because I felt like I was going to tip over. But next time it will be a little easier. And there will be a next time. Because afterward -- after I got the feeling back in my legs and  my heart rate returned to normal -- I felt great. I was tired, but invigorated. I was smelly, but proud. I want to get better, and so I will. I Can.

187. We

We played with fire

We sang in the wind

We danced with the moonlight

And dined with the sun

We snuggled the treetops

And slept in the waves

And when we were finished

We started again

186. Interim

In the last month my kids and I have been in Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Arkansas, and Missouri and in sight of Illinois. To all of these places we have driven. Each trip has been filled with fun and adventure and I am grateful to have the means and health to make these trips with my children. 

But I am so incredibly tired from playing hard all week and driving all day that you don't get to hear about it until some future date. Sorry, lovely readers. But here are some cute pictures to hold you over...

185. 1776

Pitchforks and muskets

Seventeen seventy six

Freedom forever

184. Elephant

An elephant with an itch

Scratched it by a ditch

He threw rocks and dirt

But didn't get hurt

Though his muscles began to twitch

An elephant in a pool

Was trying to keep himself cool

He sprayed water high

In his back and his thigh

His trunk is a wonderful tool

183. Creation

Glorious mountains of purple and green

How did you go so tall?

Meadows of yellow and oceans of blue

How do you rise and fall?

182. Gateway Arch

Some things are better enjoyed from below rather than above. Today's example: The Gateway Arch. I visited today for the first time. I did pass near enough to see it once on a journey across the country, but I won't count that as my sight of it lasted less than a minute. So today was my first time, and let me tell you, Gateway Arch is a beautiful, impressive monument. 

I have seen many tall structures. I have seen many large structures. I have seen thin and delicate structures. But the combination of the immense height, wide range, and fine figure make this a wondrous sight to behold. 

Perhaps because my husband is a civil engineer, I have picked up an appreciation and broad understanding of the intricacies that creating such a monumental piece would necessarily require. But I would like to think that this fear of engineering is appreciated by the wider masses as well. The simplicity attributed to this remarkable space only adds to its beauty. The unadorned, unmarried facade of the structure creates a sleek and surreal surface that serves to reflect the light and natural beauty that surrounds it. The gentle shift of the walls' angles creates a flowing rhythm that draws the viewers gaze skyward. Odd as it may sound, this man-made mammoth seems as if it is simply a solidified piece of the river it abuts, rising from its banks to greet those passing into the west.

It's awe-inspiring.

Unfortunately, the I cannot say the same for the apex tour. I am glad I went, because it was interesting to see the inner workings of this great monument, and because my children found me so much excitement in it. But I was disappointed. Even though I feel great anxiety when at unnatural heights, I looked forward to this particular occasion. I thought, surely, that something this wonderful could only inspire greater joy from its peak. But the view was underwhelming. The windows are, of engineering necessity, disappointingly small. Because of this, only a fragment of the immense view I was expecting is available at any given time. Yes, you can see a great expanse, if you lean awkwardly onto a leaning wall, crane your neck in an uncomfortable angle, and don't get elbowed or stepped on by another eager tourist in the rather confined space.

The journey skyward felt like something out of a space novel, but the part that made you glad you live on earth. I don't think Shaq would fit into the tram. 

But, all that being said, if you've never been to Gateway Arch, go. If you've never been to the top, try it. Perhaps you will see something I didn't. And may you feel the awe and majesty of this behemoth.