7. The Grand Duke

"Geoffrey, this shoe belongs to the maiden my son has spent the last three nights with. You must take it and try it on the foot of every girl in the kingdom until you find the one my son is in love with. Every girl. Leave no one out. Do you understand?"

Do I understand? What is he talking about? How is this supposed to help? A shoe. This shoe could fit half the girls in any town for leagues. And that's how I'm supposed to find this girl? How about narrowing it down some? What color is her hair? How tall is she? Is she thin or far? Short or tall? I know she was wearing a mask, but that only covered part of her. And whose inane idea was it to make these balls masked balls anyway? Why, Your Highness, if you wanted your son to find a bride did you have them all cover their faces? And why do I have to try this shoe on all their feet? Can't I just ask if they have the other shoe? I hate feet! Feet are gross! Feet are disgusting! Feet smell! Especially feet that have been dancing for three nights in a row! Why don't I just ask them all to rub their sweaty armpits on my face while they're at it? Or why don't we just say we'll have a fourth ball and see who comes with only one shoe? Or at least then that would narrow down the search a little! Why do I have to try it on the foot of every girl? Surely the pig-farmers' daughters didn't come. Or if they did, they could not have paid for a dress like hers. So that could narrow down the search. How many hundreds of feet would that spare me? I hate feet. Feet are disgusting! Why could they not have just stopped her when she was running out the door? How did they let her disappear? She was a young girl running with only one shoe! And her one shoe was glass! On what was probably a nasty sweaty foot! She cannot have been running that quickly. And no one stopped her? What is the matter with you people? Why am I the one who has to fix your mistake? Why do I have to try this stupid shoe on every girl's foot? I hate feet. I should be making charters or making sure the visiting royalty are comfortable right now, not touching all these feet. I hate feet. 

Of course, all that came out of his mouth was "Yes, Your Majesty," before he took the glass shoe in its wool-filled case and walked out the door to perform his duty.