1 mother
3 days of sickness
1 7 month old boy, crawling
1 2-3 year old girl
Approx 25 dirty dishes
Hot water
1 large bottle of dish soap
1 box of skittles
3 boxes of crayons, separated
Several sheets of paper
100% chance of rain
Chipmunk (optional)
Directions:
1. Coat mother's head with three days of sickness. Pound her, stuff her, strain her, rub it all over her. Leave no part of her uncoated.
2. Allow unwashed dishes to sit in the sink for several days until unbearably smelly. Mother will decide she can't put them off any longer. Set aside.
3. Place 2-3 year old girl at kitchen table with 1 box of crayons and paper. Add 100% chance of rain.
4. Place 7 month old boy with age-appropriate toys in living room to entertain himself.
5. While mother is washing dishes, have girl decide she wants the 2 remaining boxes of crayons instead of the 1 she has been given. Girl must get them on her own. When girl has pulled all the crayons out of their boxes, have her decide that paper is not a good enough material for her artworks. Combine girl, crayons, and boy. Spread mixture evenly on tile floor.
6. While boy is chewing on crayons, have girl decide she wants skittles. Inside is too bland. For better flavor mix girl, skittles, and 100% chance of rain.
7. Cover girl and boy with rain-soaked skittles. Let soak until girl yells in delighted squeal, "Mama! Look at me!" brandishing fingers, hair, and faces of boy and girl, completely covered in sticky, colorful mess.
8. Mother should now be foggy-headed, stuffy-nosed, and cover in soap bubbles. Mother should slip on loose crayons, splashing soapy water everywhere as she falls firmly on her bottom.
9. Garnish with chipmunk, if desired.
Recipe makes 3 servings of laughter, tears, and baths.
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