Suitcases
“Mama, that man’s back again.” Her
voice was soft as she tried gently to wake Mama. The sleeping form barely stirred. “Mama.
Wake up. Lenny, go make Mama some
coffee and water. Mama? Mama you gotta get up. That man that was here last week came
back. He’s in the front room with a
little suitcase and a lot of papers. He
brought a lady with him this time.” Mama
rolled over, revealing a new hole in the jeans she had fallen asleep in and a
few new beer stains on the blanket.
Janelle sighed and fingered the hole.
She could fix it with a patch, but it would just add to Mama’s already
shabby appearance. She wouldn’t even
bother with the stains. The bleach was
running low and she would have to ration it until the next check came. Then, maybe, she’d see if she could do
anything for the blanket.
She straightened Mama’s bedroom as
she waited for her brother to return with the coffee. Hopefully the man wouldn’t want to come in
here, but you could never tell with these people. She quietly placed the three empty bottles
into the trashcan, trying hard not to let them clink against one another, moved
the small rug to cover a sticky mess on the floor, and removed the one peeling
high heel from Mama’s foot, placing it and its partner in the small
closet. Lenny returned with his charge
and she took the cups from him, telling him to go talk to the man while she
worked on Mama. “But don’t tell him
about last night.”
They were always sent to their room
when people with papers came over. It
was no surprise when the order came again.
More than likely they’d be in there for a few hours, so Janelle had
stashed some chips in the toy chest as soon as she saw him pull up in the
gravel driveway. Now she munched on them
and watched Lenny play with his cars.
They were old and scratched. Most
of the paint had chipped off the blue one, and the green one was missing the
front window. Daddy had sent him three
new ones for Christmas, all shiny and wrapped in a neat package, but Mama had
taken them away and sold them and got drunk that night. She had let Janelle keep the doll and the
stuffed dog that he’d sent her because no one would buy them. Later, when Mama was sleeping, she’d given
Lenny the dog and told him it was from Daddy. Now it sat on his pillow, where she had put it
that morning when she had made his bed.
The blue car bumped her foot and she
returned it, sliding it across it the flaking wood floor into the pudgy hands
of her brother. “Nella, how come Mama
gets mad when people come over?”
“She doesn’t always get mad,
Lenny. She’s happy when Aunt Jean or
Mrs. Reed comes.”
“She’s not happy now. She didn’t even let me finish watching ‘Captain
Cane.’ ”
“That’s because we had to come in
here so she could talk to that man.”
“But why? What are they talking about?”
“I don’t know.” She wondered how much of what she guessed was
true. “I think it has to do with money
or Daddy. That’s usually what she talks
about with Aunt Jean afterward.”
Lenny’s nose crinkled as he thought
about it. “Does Mama hate Daddy?” The look he gave his sister displayed his
total trust, knowing she would tell him what to believe. She never let him down or hurt him like Mama
did. She knew Mama loved them. Sometimes when she wasn’t drunk she read to
them or colored a picture with them. But
that didn’t happen very often. Daddy had
been different. He had always hugged
them as soon as he got home from work and played with them until dinner. Mama didn’t drink as much then. Not at first.
She didn’t yell either. The first
time Janelle had heard her yell was when Daddy threw away her beer. After that things just got worse. Daddy only yelled when he thought Janelle and
Lenny were outside and couldn’t hear.
But they could. Then Daddy left
and Mama drank more.
“She doesn’t hate him. Not really.
She’s mad, that’s all.”
“Will Daddy come back?”
“Maybe. He came back once, remember? He came on your birthday last year.”
“Yeah! And he gave me my trains! But how come he didn’t come this year?”
He had come that year. A few days ago, even. Lenny just didn’t know it. He had been asleep when Janelle crept to the
window and listened to their parents talk on the porch. Mama didn’t want him to come over
anymore. He’d said it wasn’t right, the
way she treated them. He needed to be
with his kids. They needed to be
loved. He wanted them to live with him,
now. He could take care of them better
than she could. Janelle had agreed with
him, but she never told Mama that. She
would be happier with Daddy, even though she would miss Mama, too. Daddy would probably let them see her,
though. But she wouldn’t tell Mama. She would just get angry again, and life
wasn’t so bad, after all. Mama needed
her help, so she didn’t complain.
“That man’s Daddy’s friend.”
The statement startled her. “How do you know that?” she asked.
“He told me when you were waking
Mommy up. He said he was trying to help
Daddy see us more. Do you think he can?”
She didn’t know, but she hoped he
could. If Lenny was right about the man,
Mama would be in a worse mood than ever today.
Another piece of paint fell of the blue car as Janelle rolled it back
toward Lenny’s outstretched hand.
Mama still hadn’t let them out of
their room, but Janelle knew that if she didn’t take him out, Lenny would wet
himself again, and she didn’t know which would make Mama madder. Quietly, she opened the light tin door and
scanned the small house for Mama’s mess of brown curls. She was sitting at the kitchen table with
Aunt Jean, their backs toward her. She
snuck to the bathroom door, opened it as quietly as she could, pausing when it
squeaked. Mama didn’t noticed and she
opened it all the way, waving to Lenny to come in.
She closed the door behind him and
turned her attention to Mama and Aunt Jean.
From behind they looked the same, except Aunt Jean had brushed her hair
and was wearing cleaner clothes. Janelle
and Lenny had hair more like Daddy’s than Mama’s. Theirs was all blond and straight. But everybody always said they had Mama’s
eyes. They weren’t the same anymore,
though. Mama’s were usually red now,
instead of blue.
Two empty bottles sat near
Mama. Another one was in her hand,
sometimes at her mouth. Aunt Jean had
one, too, but she hadn’t had much yet. They
were talking about the man that had been there that morning. It was uncomfortable, the way they were talking
so quietly. Mama usually yelled and
screamed and sometimes broke things after people came over, but now she was
just sitting there talking. It scared
Janelle, and she wanted Lenny to hurry up, but knew he wouldn’t. He always took so long in the bathroom. Then Mama said Daddy’s name, and Janelle listened
harder. Crawling closer, she could hear
what they were saying.
“Annette, why don’t you let him take
them? You wouldn’t have to pay anything
for them anymore. You could move in with
me and maybe get a job again. You
wouldn’t have to worry about anything anymore.”
“No” mama sounded like a snake when
she tried yelling and whispering at the same time. “I’m not letting him get what he wants. I don’t care if it would be easier. They’re my kids, dammit, and he can’t have
them. He’s the one who left us. If he wanted to be with them he should have
stayed. He did this to himself.”
“So what are you going to do? Fight?
He’ll win, Nettie. You know he
will. And you’re going to go through
hell getting there. His lawyers already
know you can’t support them any longer. They’ve
seen the kids. I heard Mr. Kents say
something about Lenny talking to him as he left. David’s going to get them.”
“Then he will pay.”
Aunt Jean looked tired. She sat with her shoulders lowered and her
elbows on the table. She sighed at
Mama’s stubbornness. “He’s not going to
have to pay. He’ll figure out a way.”
“He’s not going to take my kids,
Jean. He won’t find them.” Mama had a plan. She was sitting up straight, which she hadn’t
done in ages. She drank more of the
beer, almost emptying the bottle.
“Find them? What are you going to do? Run?”
“Exactly.”
Aunt Jean’s body got taller at the
same time Janelle’s did. It was surprise
that made her sit up, but Janelle quickly bent down again, hiding beside the
wall, trying not to be seen. Aunt Jean
stayed in place, but watched her sister as she got up to get another beer. “How?
Where?”
“I’ll need your help, but I have an
idea. Robert sent me a few hundred dollars
last week so they wouldn’t take the car.
I haven’t paid them, yet. With
that and your help I could buy a couple of plane tickets to Alaska, and David
would never know. I’ve already found the
tickets. We’d fly tomorrow through
Chicago. They’ll take the car anyway so
I’ll just leave it at the airport, no fuss.
You wouldn’t have to do anything.
All I need is another hundred or so to get an apartment. David would never find us there. It’s perfect.”
It was a little while before Aunt
Jean answered her. “I will help
you. But you have to promise me you will
get a job and stop drinking. That’s the
only way.”
The bathroom door squeaked a little
when Lenny opened it. Janelle didn’t
hear Mama’s answer, but afraid she would hear Lenny, she crawled back to him,
opened the bedroom door, and quickly pushed him back in.
A bird flew around her, its wings flapping past her ears
and creating a noise she recognized. The
cool breeze shifted the grass she lay on. The smell of alcohol made her
stir. Her blanket fell away and she
rolled onto her side, staring at Mama as she grabbed the thin blanket from the
end of her bed and shoved it, along with a few pieces of clothing, into a
small, tattered suitcase. She tripped
over the loose, old rug and caught herself on the lopsided dresser. A bottle crashed to the ground, spilling
what was left of her latest drink. She
didn’t curse when it smashed, just continued grabbing clothes and shoving them
in the bag.
“Mama?”
She
froze at the sound and turned to face the direction it came from. Her eyes were unfocused and red, and she
smelled stronger than usual. Janelle
knew at once that she was drunk again and gently got out of her bed to help
Mama into her own. The sun had just set
and the sky was still a little pink, which surprised her. Janelle had only been asleep for about an
hour. Mama rarely got drunk this
early. The rest of the conversation with
Aunt Jean must not have gone well. She
only got this drunk when she was very, very angry or scared.
“Come
on, Mama. Let’s go to bed.” She tried to guide Mama out of the little
room.
“No. No!
Get Lenny. Car.” Her anger was evident and it worried Janelle. Mama stumbled out of the room and down the
hall, heading toward the open front door.
Unused to Mama’s behavior, Janelle woke her brother up, and led him
after her. The car door was open and
Mama was putting the suitcase into the front seat. “In” she demanded.
“Where
are we going?” Lenny asked sleepily.
Mama didn’t reply. She tried to
close the door, but didn’t get it all the way.
Janelle shut it firmly and scooted her brother into the back seat,
following in after him.
The
lights were still on in the house and the front door hung open as they drove
away. There were papers on the front dash
and they moved around with each jerk Mama made on the steering wheel. They were driving fast and the wind made the
ride sound louder, but it didn’t take Lenny long to fall back asleep, and soon
Janelle joined him.
A
distant tapping disturbed the peaceful blank of Janelle’s sleep. It came again and a third time before she stirred
and lifted her head. The tapping was
closer than she’d thought. A man with a
hat was outside Lenny’s window, looking at her.
She couldn’t see much about him because the sun was behind him and
blinding her. She sat up and noticed
that Mama wasn’t in the car. The
suitcase was gone, too, and the papers were on the floor. Lenny was still sleeping, but the man was
looking at her. He came around the back
of the car and stood next to her door.
Now she could see that his hat was blue, and he had badges on his chest,
like a cop. He smiled at her and she
opened the door. Cops were always nice
to children.
He
said hi to her and asked her what her name was.
She told him and he said it was a very pretty name. His name was Officer Bentley. She smiled and asked him if he knew where
Mama was. Had she been the one who had
driven them there? Yes. What was her name? Annette Petersen, but it used to be
Annette Franklin before Daddy left. He told her to wake Lenny up and he’d take
them inside to find Mama.
A
few minutes later she was walking into the big airport. Officer Bentley was holding one of her hands
and hand Lenny’s hand in his other. He
told them about where they were and asked if they knew where Mama was planning
on taking them. Janelle told him what
she remembered about Mama’s conversation with Aunt Jean. She knew Alaska was the biggest state in the
U.S. because she was learning about the states in her class, but she didn’t
remember the other place she had said.
Officer Bentley said that was fine and led them into a little room
behind a big counter. He asked if they
were hungry and gave each of them a donut and some water. After he talked to a lady in a red dress and
told her their names, he left the room.
The lady in the dress told them he was going to find Mama and then he’d
come back.
It
felt like a long time before he came back.
The lady had turned on the little TV and they were watching
cartoons. “Captain Cane” had come on and
Lenny was perfectly happy. When Officer
Bentley came back he looked tired and sad.
He talked to the lady and then sat down on the seat next to Janelle.
“Did
you find Mama?” she asked him. His face
made her sad, but she didn’t know why.
“I
did. She got on a plane last night and
she won’t be back for a while. Does your
Dad live near here?”
She
told him she didn’t know where he lived anymore, but sometimes he came to
visit. He asked what his name and his
job were.
“David
Franklin. He’s a veterinarian.” She had always been proud of him, and wanted
to be a veterinarian too. One time he
saved their cat after she was run over by a car. It didn’t belong to anybody and no one wanted
it, so he had let her keep it and she had named it Mr. Tires. Officer Bentley smiled. He was glad her Dad was such a good man. He was going to see if he could find him so
he could take them home.
“Mama
won’t like that very much” she said.
“She’s mad at Daddy and doesn’t want us to see him.” He told her he thought she’d be fine with it
this time and got up to leave. “Officer
Bentley?” He turned to look at her. “You’re nice.
Thanks for finding Mama and Daddy.”
His didn’t quite smile, but almost did and then he left.
“Captain
Cane” finished and they watched two more shows before Officer Bentley came back
in the room, followed by Daddy. Lenny
ran to him excitedly and laughed. Daddy
laughed, too, but he also cried. He
hugged both of them for a very long time.
Lenny asked if they were going home now, and Daddy said they were going
to live in his home from now on. Janelle
knew she would be happy to live with Daddy again. She loved him very much and always got to
have fun and get hugs and play games with him.
Mama wasn’t coming back, and she would always miss her. She was Mama.
But this was Daddy. And Daddy
would make life happy again.
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