303. Race Day

Saturday I ran a 5K. It was my first time running a set distance outside in about fifteen years. Though I have been working toward this race for a few months now, I have only ever been running in a controlled environment on a treadmill, where I could see my pace and my progress. This race was different. I had no indication of how fast I was going, how far I had gone, or how much longer I still had to go. That ended up being the hardest part for me. Although the 42degree, windy morning was a close second. But I loved it. I loved the excited faces of the runners around me while we waited for the start. I loved the parents running with their kids, the two dad’s pushing strollers, the siblings encouraging each other to keep going. But my absolute favorite part was the final stretch. My chest hurt so badly that I just wanted to stop. I don’t do cold and I don’t do early and I don’t do long running. I wanted to give up. But as I approached the end, those runners who had already finished lined the final stretch and yelled words of encouragement to me and my fellow runners. They cheered for me to keep pushing through, to keep my feet turning, to give it all I’ve got. I was almost there. Just a little further. Finish strong. Their confidence gave me confidence and I was able to keep going and I did finish strong. I beat my expectations by several minutes. Apparently not knowing my pace made me run faster and harder than I thought I could. But those more experienced than me knew that I could.
I crossed the finish line with little personal fanfare. No one was there to greet me. The crowd continued cheering on those who were still coming. But in that moment when I saw my final time I was glad to have the moment to myself despite the mass around me. I was overwhelmed with pride in my accomplishment. I had done it, and in a time I had not thought possible for myself at this point. I will freely admit that I cried. I cried with relief at finishing, with pride in my time, and even a bit for the pain in my chest. Because I worked hard to achieve this goal and I had won.