242. 1-10

I had an interesting experience with Janie yesterday that I can't stop thinking about, so I'm going to share my thoughts on it today. 

This summer we have been watching America's Got Talent together. I figure it's good for her to see real people doing what they love and succeeding through their skills. She likes staying up late. It's a win-win. Last night we were unable to watch, but I figured I would let her help me submit votes for the acts. I explained the 1-10 system and asked her what number we should give each act that was performing. With each I showed her the picture of the performer(s) and reminded her of what they did the last time we saw them.

Janie was very generous in her scoring. She gave almost exclusively 9s and 10s, with only two exceptions. The magician got an 8 because she didn't really understand what he did. Fair enough. 

What surprised and hurt me most was when we got to Kechi, a woman with a lovely singing voice, but an unusual face. Having been in a plane crash, her face carries scars and different textures, and many burn victims do. Upon seeing her picture, Janie paused. I asked if she remembered hearing her sing and what number we should give her. Janie looked at the picture and quietly said "umm...one." 

My heart dropped a little at that small admission. With all the other scores she had been excited and resolute in her answer. But this time she seemed to shrink into herself. I don't know if it was because the picture frightened her or if she was ashamed of her answer. But that "one" opened my eyes to some hidden truth. And maybe it's hidden because we don't want to see that unkind side of humanity. But what I saw was that natural reaction in my little girl to give a negative reaction to something she saw as unattractive. I hope that is not something we have taught. Indeed, we have tried to teach our children that every person is a child of God. Every person is special, even if they look, sound, or act different than us. She wasn't trying to be mean with that designation. She wasn't trying to impress anyone or put herself above another. She was just reacting honestly and responding naturally to her instincts. 

After my initial surprise passed I said "really? A one? Did you not like her singing?" at which point her shyness evaporated and with that returned enthusiasm she said "yeah, I think...8." Again, i don't know if that change was in response to remembering her singing or because she was embarrassed at her reaction and realized it wasn't how she should have acted. 

I guess what the whole experience taught me is that kindness in the face of the unknown is a learned response. Every person is special, no matter what they look like. But additionally, we should be understanding of those who do not immediately reach out to the different. It is natural to be intimidated by what you do not know. But after that initial uncertainty has passed us we should try to see past the physical differences that separate us. Everyone is worthy of a high score!