90. Niffler

Nifflers nabbing nuggets of glittering golden goodness move merrily among the muggles and cause quite a ruckus.

89. The Bridge

The bridge is falling, piece by piece

A little here, a lot more there,

Slowly crumbling in the wind,

Fading shy from daily wear.

88. A Mother's Response to Dumb Questions

What do you do? the old farmer said.

Nothing but daydream and lie in my bed,

Writing down thoughts and the songs in my head,

Living off nothing but butter and bread.

Why do you waste your whole life away?

Because my whole world is these children at play.

87. The Lawnmower Lesson

Today I was grouchy and selfish and expressed it. So God put me in my place in an unexpected and humorous way. Here's what happened:

After lunch I put Janie and Thomas down for naps, then sat down to nurse Berto so that he could join them and I could have some peace and quiet. I depend upon my peace and quiet to get me through the day. Berto was doing great, almost asleep, when there was a knock at the door.

It was 1:00 in the afternoon and I wasn't expecting anyone, so I ignored it. I reckoned that if it were someone I knew they would text or call me. If it wasn't, it probably wasn't important. I assumed it was a salesman and that he would go away.

He didn't. In fact, he knocked again. Then he rang the doorbell. Then he knocked. Then he knocked again. Then he rang the doorbell again.

By then I was both frustrated and concerned. My children were sleeping. Berto was still nursing. I was not appropriately attired to answer the door. But who tries to summon a homeowner six times? We had no car in the driveway; there was no indication that we were actually home. So why was this person persisting? Something must be wrong or he surely would have gone away by then. 

Between the last knock and the last ring I decided to see what was going on. I broke Berto's latch, much to his dismay, and rearranged my clothing so that I was presentable. Berto, understandably, began wailing at me as the last bell rang. Finally free, I walked toward the door only to see my visitor reaching out for a seventh attempt to call me forward. I beat him to the punch and opened the door.

"Oh, did I wake you up?" He asked me.

My mental eyes rolled. I thought some unkind thoughts that were along the lines of "you're just now thinking I may have been sleeping." Not so kindly I quipped "no, but you woke him up. Can I help you?"

Turns out it was a man from the company who keeps our lawn green and ant-free. He simply wanted to know whether I planned on mowing my lawn in the next two days, because that's not allowed after fertilization. I didn't say anything unkind, but I was was curt with him and I'm fairly certain my tone betrayed my inner thoughts. Assured that I was not planning on mowing my lawn, he thanked me, told me he would be do his work on the lawn, and said goodbye. 

As I sat back down to nurse Berto back to sleep, I composed a text to my sisters to vent my frustration. In it I listed the top four reasons I was angry:

"1. It's a Tuesday. Who mows the lawn on a frickin Tuesday?

2. Generally if someone doesn't answer after the second knock, it's because answering the door would be incredibly inconvenient (i.e. Not wearing a shirt because I'm nursing my ALMOST ASLEEP BABY and the outfit I chose today, though cute, is not nursing friendly)

3. You're going to leave a note on my door like you do EVERY TIME you come, which always tells me not to mow for two days after you put down fertilizer. I know this. You know this. No need to tell me again.

4. You woke my baby up, ya turd!"

I was a bit upset. Over the next hour or so I continued to roll my eyes and feel sorry for myself.

But Berto did fall back asleep, Janie and Thomas stayed asleep. I got a great break during which I ate lunch, read from the scriptures, cleaned my house a bit, and had a bit of a snooze. By the time they woke up, I was feeling fine.

I moved on with my day, but after Jay got home we sat outside together while the kids rode their bikes and I told Jay about my frustrating experience. As I finished my tale (once again annoyed by the re-telling), our next-door neighbor came out of her house and began mowing her lawn. 

Yes, she was mowing her lawn on a Tuesday. 

Point taken, God. 

Sometimes that's all it takes to turn a bad experience around. I was being ridiculous, and God let me know. I had no reason to be huffy or rude to that man. He was just doing his job. He didn't know my kids were sleeping. Even if it did inconvenience me, that's okay. How silly is it that I was so bothered by this? My life is wonderful. I mean, I have a company who keeps my lawn green and ant-free! I have a house and a lawn, for crying out loud. I have no reason to complain. 

So this is my way of recognizing my pride and humbling myself by sharing this experience. Hopefully next time I won't be such a loser.

86. Jericho (9)

Where the sun couldn't reach, the rebellion thrived. The shadowlands became the seat of conspiracy. It was frigid and barren, but it safe. Even if he were to discover their plot to overthrow him, The Overlord would never dare enter the shadowlands. His altered body, though massive and mighty, would never withstand the achingly bitter winds. It was a trade-off the Elite had weathered with ease.  Most of Horus was hot and dry. Its cities had sprung up around the abundant water sources. There was little need for the Elite to venture near the harsh cold of the shadowlands; and so, they gave up their inner warmth for the chance to tower over the poor.

Aurora knew the weaknesses of the Elite better than most. She had grown up in their homes, educated in their schools, surrounded by their children. She knew they had strength and agility. They could dive deeper and climb higher than her. They could  run faster and longer, always outstripping her in seconds. She knew of their telepathy and the advances being made in telekinesis. She knew they mocked the poor and thought of them as lesser beings. And perhaps they were, but Aurora felt more like them than those she was raised with. Though she had been among them, she was never one of them. Where they were giants, she was dwarfed. Where they were quick, she lagged. And where they were boisterous and rowdy, she was quiet and watchful. And so she learned their weaknesses. Cold was their greatest fear, aside from the degradation of being poor. Social acceptance was key to their way of living. The parties, the colors, the grandeur -- the show was their life. 

And Aurora was tired of it.

85. I am Benjamin.

I am Benjamin.

I am a direct descendant of our great father Lehi. I was once the king of all the Nephites as were my father's before me. All of my life I have dedicated my days to learning how to lead my people. But now I have passed that mantle to my son. He has learned well. He is ready for this life: he will step into the shoes of the Nephis before us and lead our people through peace or war, feast or famine. And I? What shall I do now? 

I can no longer urge the cattle on. I can no longer bend the plant the seed or swing the reaping sickle. I cannot watch for the advancing enemy or blow the warning horn. 

But I am not without a purpose. The little ones are growing. My steady Mosiah's young boys must follow in his path. Some day he will become like me, old and withered, and little Ammon will take his place. Though he is yet small, he will become mighty in time. Even now his little body holds a ferocious spirit. That will lead him to greatness, if he will let it. And so I will spend my remaining time teaching what I can to my young grandsons in the hopes that they will grow together to support each other and this people. 

84. Banana Splits and Root Beer Floats

Banana splits and root beer floats

That's what we had tonight.

It's how we finished off our meal

They tasted oh so right.

Banana splits and root beer floats,

The syrup and the fizz

Are why my kids are zipping 'round.

They're nuts; they really is!

83. Scrapes

Scrapes and bruises wide and round, 

When you fell, you hit the ground.

Checkered pattern, pink and red

Plastered on your white forehead.

Hope it's feeling better soon

So you don't look like a goon.

82. Mixing Prints

Mixing prints and mismatched socks

That's what we mamas do

When laundry isn't getting done

And we can't buy something new.

81. Jessa And The Beanstalk (6)

At first my sculpting was abrupt and choppy. Forms took the general shape that I intended: a hill here, a pillar there. These forms filled their purposes. They were beautiful in that they were mine, but they were rough. Well, as rough as anything made of cloud can be. 

But I learned to be precise. Every day that my beanstalk appeared I climbed to the freedom it delivered. The more time I spent in the clouds, the harder it became to return to earth again. Mother never scolded me for disappearing -- I think she was too busy with my brothers and sisters to even notice I was gone. But each time I returned I felt heavy and wooden, as of the ground itself was weighing me down and the lightness of the clouds dissolved every atom of pain and bondage. And so I continued to climb and I continued to sculpt. When I became hungry I sculpted a sandwich or a chicken leg or a tomato out of the clouds and it became what I desired. A luminescent strawberry patch or a brilliant, snowy grapevine would come into being and fill my hunger. My world sustained me, body and soul. 

In time my fingers grew accustomed to the molding of the clouds. Instead of a tree that looked simply like a ball on a stick, I was creating intricate, interlacing branches that sprouted glorious leaves of all shapes and sizes. I created orchards that bore fruits of my imagination. Sweet and succulent berries grew next to tart or tangy pods that oozed when bitten. Each shape had a unique flavor. Occasionally I would create something with a flavor I didn't fancy upon trying, but with a little reshaping -- the narrowing of the end or flattening of sides, the addition of dimples or spines -- the flavor would morph and I would continue changing it until it met my approval. 

80. Jessa And The Beanstalk (5)

I climbed. Higher and higher and higher. I didn't bother looking back. Why would I? I knew what that world held for me. A poor, boring life of farming. The same thing day after day after day. But the sky held adventure. The sky was mine to explore and to develop. If my creations were still there, I could add to them. If they were gone, erased by the movement of my kingdom, fine. I would begin again and each day create something new. 

My beanstalk thinned as I drew nearer to the clouds. Finally I touched their misty undersides and entered the thick fog that was the tunnel to my freedom.

I emerged.

All was as I had left it. Bright, shining, sculpted in my weak, inexperienced hand. I thrilled with delight. My refuge was brilliant; soon it would become perfect. I had no doubt that in time, my kingdom in the clouds would be the most glorious anyone had ever seen. 

79. Put On Your Shoe

What if you knew

When you put on your shoe

Where the road would take you

And what be the view?

Would you follow the path?

Would you add up the math,

If ever you knew

When you put on your shoe?

Would you stay locked inside

Finding somewhere to hide

If only you knew 

When you put on your shoe?

The challenge is here

Bringing joy, bringing fear.

So what will you do

When you put on your shoe?

78. The Fire Inside

A fire is burning inside me so bright

Of power and yearning and doing what's right.

I know that He hears me. He answers my prayers.

He shares in my joy and He calms all my fears.

The fire of knowledge, the fire of light,

Is burning inside me from morn until night.

77. Life is too good

Life is too good no to enjoy it

Love is too rich not to employ it

Longing is waiting for you to ignore it Laughter is waiting for you to explore it 

76. Success

Today I went rock climbing for the first time in nearly two years.

My arms hurt.

My legs hurt.

My fingers and my hands hurt.

My heels and toes hurt. 

My knees hurt (but not my elbows).

My back hurts and my hips hurt.

I'm going to be bruised and blistered and sore tomorrow. 

But despite all that my spirits are high.

I pushed and pulled myself to the top of the wall several times. I climbed past what I thought I could, telling myself I could make it one more hold, one more reach. I found my way through the difficult passages, sometimes back-stepping, sometimes jumping. Where my body wanted to quit, my mind persevered. 

Sure, I'm tired and I'm sore, but it means I succeeded.

75. March

Madness madness all month long

Action, tension, right or wrong 

Running, shooting, faking right

Can your team advance? They might.

How strong is your spirit song?

74. Ides

The Ides, the Ides

Beware the Ides of March.

For nothing goes and nothing comes,

But friends will turn to thieves.

Nothing hails of joy when friends our lives destroy.

The Ides bring naught but sorrow

To the camps of Roman soldiers.

The Ides, the Ides

Beware the Ides of March.

Tis then you'll see the end is nigh

And never gain tomorrow.

73. Big Sister

Today is my big sister's birthday. Sure, the grown-up way to say that would be "my older sister" but that's not how we roll. She's my big sis. The one who looked out for me even when I was a pest. The 17-year-old that 13-year-old-me wanted to become. The sister who tried to set me straight when I was a self-centered butthead. The big sis who became my best friend. She's the person I shared Europe with (including all the clothes we took there). We captured Canawkwards together and posed at palaces together. We crossed a superscaryhigh bridge together to get to Cinderella's castle. We held a baby tiger together. We stayed up late and woke up early playing games together on Christmas Eve (so many times!!!). We prepared a fabulous Harry Potter Feast together. We braved Walmart on a Christmas Eve Saturday together. We played balloon volleyball and fruit basket tip over together. We throwed rolls together. We read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows out loud all night long together. We sobbed while watching Independence Day together (we were sick; give us a break). 

She's my big sister and always will be. So here's to her birthday and many more to come!

72. Potty Training

Thomas is potty training. Right now he is taking a nap. He has no diaper on. I am equal parts frustrated, tired, and terrified of what I will find when naptime is over. I have prepared by using my nap time freedom to sort the dirty laundry. If I find this method has been unsuccessful, I will (hopefully) quickly be able to erase the evidence and start afresh. If his bed somehow manages to come out of this poop-free I will be one step closer to having clean laundry! It's a win-win, right? 

Mostly I'm terrified.

71. Lazarus

Mary, Martha, Lazarus

Lived a life not hazardous,

But Laz got sick and died one day.

The girls were sad he'd gone away.

Jesus came. They wept, "too late.

He's passed on through the pearly gate."

"Martha, Mary, cry no more,"

Jesus called Laz to the door.

Out he came all wrapped in white;

Must have been an awesome sight.

You must have faith just as he said

When Jesus raised Laz from the dead.

70. Jessa and the Beanstalk (4)

Four days of clear skies had me anxious and miserable. I yearned to know if cloudy skies would herald the return of my wonderland. But finally on the fifth day the clouds began to gather once again. As I worked my mother's fields I kept my eyes toward the great boulder that marked my freedom. Would my ladder rise? Or was my adventure ended long before I was ready? In agony I waited, watching the sky darken slowly. Oh, so slowly. 

But then, I saw it. Above the tops of the corn rows, my green escape rose. It crept higher and higher and higher until it disappeared among the clouds. My mother beside me took no notice of it, as if it wasn't even there. It was my beanstalk. Only mine.

I tiptoed away from my mother, backing as quietly as I could into the yellow fields. When I was certain she could no longer see me, I ran. 

I flew through the close fields, tearing leaves and stalks as I ran, but I didn't care. I didn't care if I was scratched or bruised or torn. I didn't care if I looked wild. My kingdom was calling.

69. Hobby Lobby

Hobby Lobby, you're the one,
You make craft time lots of fun,
Hobby Lobby, I'm awfully fond of you;
(woh woh, bee doh!)
Hobby Lobby, joy of joys,
When I search you, I find toys!
Hobby Lobby, you're my very best friend, it's true!
(doo doo doo doooo, doo doo)
Every day when I
Make my way to the Lobby
I find a little project that's
Cute or maybe a cubby
(rub-a-dub-a-dubby!)
Hobby Lobby, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Hobby Lobby, I'm awfully fond of you.

Hobby Lobby, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Hobby Lobby, I'm awfully fond of -
Hobby Lobby, I'd like a whole mall of -
Hobby Lobby I'm awfully fond of you!
(doo doo, be doo.)

68.Jessa and the Beanstalk (3)

I woke in the morning excited to revisit my shining haven, but my window showed only blue skies. There was not a cloud in sight.

And there was no beanstalk. 

"Had it all been a dream?" I wondered as I raced through the fields to the boulder that marked my ladder's root.  There, tucked neatly in the shadows of the stone, a tiny tendril, barely longer than my thumb, rose from the dirt. It was innocent, unassuming. But it was mine. 

67. Jessa and the Beanstalk (2)

All around me, white clouds floated, gathered, swirled, formed. I reached my hand out cautiously and found the clouds moved at the touch of my hand. Where I pushed the cloud, it moved. Where I released my hand, the cloud stayed. I reached a foot out and stepped lightly. The cloud gathered beneath my bare foot as if it were solid ground. Tentatively I released my hold on the beanstalk. Held up only by the streaming clouds around me, I left the safety of my stalk and began to explore. There was no end to my shining wonderland. I was alone. No voice, no bird, no insect penetrated the silence. Here, I was queen. 

As I walked among my fluffy domain, forms unfolded beneath my palms. I created hills and valleys, fields of open air. I delved into the thickest clouds to form caves of shimmering opacity. This world was mine and I molded it to reflect my dreams. 

In time. The light began to dwindle. I realized I had spent all day creating my cloudy kingdom. Mother would be worried if I did not return for supper, so I rushed for my earthly tether and scurried down its shaft. As I passed through the floor of my kingdom, color exploded around me, the Hurd more vivid to my eyes than I had ever noticed before. In my kingdom, all flowed white. Below, the variant vibrancy overwhelmed my vision. I forced my eyes shut and let my fingers and toes guide me back to the ground.

66. How I Met Your Father

I often hear the question "how did you and your husband meet?" The boring answer is "we worked together" but I prefer "my great-grandfather pushed him down the stairs." Sure, that's not exactly PROVEN, but I'm sure he was involved.

In college I worked as a custodian in the campus administration building. Jay worked a similar job, but in a different building. His job was mainly to move pianos and chairs to turn classrooms into church rooms and back again over the weekends. The building he worked in is named after my great-grandfather (whom Thomas is named after). At the end of his shift one evening, Jay was racing down the steps in this building and lost his balance (or was pushed by the ghost of my grandfather). He tried to jump the remainder of the staircase but was unsuccessful. Upon landing. He broke his ankle.

One cannot push pianos on a broken ankle. After a couple weeks of paid leave, the head of the campus custodial department wanted to get Jay working again, so he called around to various area supervisors to see if anyone had some work a cripple could perform. Lucky for us, my boss knew just how to occupy an immobile employee. She had, after all, had one such worker only a few months prior when one of her own had injured her knee playing night games and could barely walk for a few days (guilty!). And so she hired on the gimp.

The rest, as they say, is history.

65. Beloved

You are precious.

You are irreplaceable.

You are beloved.

This is the message I heard this morning, the message God wanted me to hear. It was given to a group of thirty to forty women. They all probably needed to hear it, too. But I felt like it was for me.

I am precious.

I am irreplaceable.

I am beloved.

My Savior knows me. He knows the trials that I deal with. He knows my thoughts, my fears, my heartaches, my joys, my desires, my hopes, my dreams. He knows my past and He knows my future. He knows what I want to become and He knows what I can become.

I am precious.

I am irreplaceable.

I am beloved.

You are precious.

You are irreplaceable.

You are beloved.

61. Jericho (8)

 The Elite's words seemed to echo in the air around Orson. Could it be true? Invading another mind was not only unethical, but it was supposed to be impossible. If the Overlord had indeed found a way to force himself into a closed mind there was no longer any hope. How could they fight a man who could take their very thoughts? How could they possibly hope to defeat him?

He pounded his fist angrily on the large stone slab, making those around him jump in alarm. "Blazes," he growled under his breath. The Elite looked up at him pathetically, only infuriating him more. "How could you let this happen? I thought you were supposed to be fighting with us, not passing our secrets to the Overlord!"

"That is enough, Orson." Aurora rose calmly, her small frame tiny next to the behemoth that was the Elite giant. "Sebastian could no more fend off this attack than you could have."

Orson roared, "How do we know that? How do we know he didn't give us all up willingly? He is the reason we are all here now on the barren rock." Rumbles of agreement rolled around the room as others whispered their own conversations.

"Sebastian is one of us, just as you are," she said, her calm grating on Orson's nerves. The man was nothing like them. He was an Elite. He didn't understand the pressures or fears of Ashen life. He was bathed in luxury, not murk. They were separate in every way. "We cannot trust him. He is working with the Overlord."

A hand raised over the ring of heads around him. Mary. "Perhaps, Sebastian, you can explain more?" The woman was irritating.

"There is no more to explain," Orson barked. "That man has betrayed us."

Aurora rolled her eyes at him. "Really, Orson, if he was working with the Overlord, why has he Fallen with the rest of us?"

"He's spying. Sending even more knowledge back to kill us all."

Horatio laughed outright and Orson glared at him. "This exile is supposed to be a death sentence. The Overlord sent a spy to make sure we really do die here? Sit down, Orson, and let the man speak."

Orson huffed but was cut off from responding by a piercing look from Aurora. He slowly lowered himself back to the ground as Mary asked Sebastian to continue.

64. I am Orihah.

I am Orihah.

I was born across the sea. When I was a boy my family sailed from our homeland. Moon after moon after moon waxed and waned and still we sailed. The boats were small, warm, and cramped. The waves tossed us about. 

When we finally found land again, I became ill and weak. My body had grown used to the movement of the ocean waves. Without it, my muscles dwindled. My illness kept me from running with my brothers, from farming with my brothers, from growing with my brothers. 

Instead, I kept with the Elders, the ancient, the infirm and the weak. At first I resented my brothers and cousins. I wanted to play with them. I wanted to build our new home and participate as the other boys did. 

For a while I battled my inner demons. I hated myself and my body. I sunk into the nightmares that plagued me. Perhaps I would have succumbed to my nightmares had it not been for Malachi. 

Malachi was the oldest of the Elders. He was truly ancient, past the age when death should have met him. I sat with him many days. Malachi taught me the history of our people. He taught me to read. He taught me to write. He taught me to study the languages of our former home. I learned to account for the wares and stores of our village. I learned the laws of our governance. 

Malachi ensured that my interests were always awarded. If I asked a question, he had an answer or directed me toward it myself. 

My nightmares abated. Where my body would not perform, my mind excelled. I hungered for knowledge, and Malachi spread a feast.

Upon his death, Malachi requested that I continue my quest for knowledge. I would have done so even without my oath to him. I quickly read everything we had brought with us from our homeland. All the knowledge that our people had, I consumed. What we didn't know, I intended to discover.

I was once ashamed of my weakened body. Now, I know it is a blessing for God. My father and uncle are dying. They have led our family since our sojourn began. The people demand a king. Father tried to dissuade them, but they insist. The position has fallen to me. None of my brothers or cousins wants the responsibility. I do not want it. The rule of an evil king is why we were forced to leave all those years ago. But perhaps this is why God allowed my body to deteriorate. Perhaps he knew the only way I would be prepared as I am is by being limited. And so, I will accept the people's demand. Perhaps I may be able to form the government the people need through this role. 

I am ready.

I am King Orihah.

63. Cleaning For a Cookie

Today I posed a challenge

To my little girl and boy.

"Whoever cleans up fastest

Gets a cookie." There was joy.

The teams were made up, me and them; 

their room verses mine.

Their room was a scary sight.

Mine would take some time.

I made my bed, I hung up clothes.

The laundry I did fold,

When to my great surprise, "Hey mom,

We're done now!" I was told.

"No way," I thought. "It cannot be.

You've only just begun."

But when I went to check on them

I'd found that they had won.

I've never seen a transformation

Quite as quick as this.

Amazing how a cookie can

Fulfill a mother's wish.

62.Jessa and the Beanstalk

We all know how Jack found his way into the kingdom in the sky, but do you know the giants got there? I do.

I'm Jessa. I was once a poor farm girl, similar to Jack. I worked from morning until night to help my mother and father feed our family. There wasn't much to live off of, and, like Jack, I yearned for adventure. So when I ran across a weird old man who asked for my three-legged stool in exchange for five magic beans, I made the trade. 

I didn't want my big brother Marcus to steal my treasure, so I ran through our fields until I was sure that I was alone. There was a giant rock just on the other side of our fields that I liked to sit on sometimes when I wanted to be by myself. The weird man hadn't told me what magic the beans held, so I wrapped four beans tightly in a piece of fabric that I ripped off my dress and I hid them under the rock. The fifth bean I planted. 

The next morning I ran back out to my rock and found a giant beanstalk had sprung up overnight! It was huge! I couldn't even see the top, it was so tall. Of course, I had to climb it. It was as if it was made for me to climb. Tendrils lay exactly where my feet needed to land. Up up up I went until I could no longer see our farmhouse. Up up up I went further, into the clouds. The clouds were cold and wet. It grew dark. I couldn't see, but I could still feel the beanstalk beneath my fingers, against my toes. So I kept climbing. 

Finally, the darkness dispersed and I popped through the top of the clouds. All was white.

60. Home

Home is where your heart is

A common phrase I'm told

Home is where your rump rests

A lesson learned of old

Home is walls and ceilings

A plain and honest truth

Home is where your kids are

For every Anne or Ruth.