263. Ward Changes

For the last week I've been struggling with the knowledge that I will no longer attend church with most of my current ward (congregation). When and where you attend church is based on your geographical location. Some places a ward can cover several cities. Other places it's as small as a few city blocks. Because there are so many members of the LDS church (Mormons) moving into our area, several ward boundaries were changed to create a new ward. My neighborhood was one of only a handful that were taken from my current ward to the newly created one, to be joined with parts of another existing ward. 

Logically, I know I will be fine. The exact same lessons will be taught. The exact same schedule will be followed. The Sacrament will be administered in the exact same way. This is really not much different than moving into a new ward. I've done that so many times, I've lost track of how many I've been in. But of all the places I've lived and all the wards I've been in, I have never felt so at home, or so loved, as in this one with these people. I have never loved a ward so entirely. 

And yes, I know some of those people I love will be in my new ward. And I know I will still see these people regularly. I still live in the same city. I still live within ten minutes of all of them. We will still attend church in the same building, just on different schedules. I know this. 

But it doesn't mean my heart isn't breaking.

So for the last week I have been keeping myself busy so as not to think about this impending change. This morning was my last time attending with the Klein Oak ward. As of 6:00 tonight, I am now a member of the Willow Creek ward. This morning was also our Primary Program. This is when all the children ages 3-11 share short talks and sing songs about what they have been learning all year. For the last two years I have been serving in the Primary. I have been with these children as they learned and grew in the Lord. 

I couldn't join in today as the children sang "I Know That My Savior Loves Me."

I tried. I started. But my throat closed up with emotion as I heard their pure little voices testifying of Christ's love for them, His love for me. Fifty-four beautiful angels  sang of the Lord. "The love that He felt for His little ones I know He feels for me. I did not touch Him or sit on His knee, yet Jesus is real to me. I know He lives. I will follow faithfully. My heart I give to Him. I know that my Savior loves me."

I have heard this song dozens of times as they've practiced it throughout the year, but this time it was different. 

They were speaking to me. They were reminding me that I am going to be okay. My Savior loves me. He knows of my thoughts. He knows how hard this is for me. He knows of the love I feel and the happiness I have experienced here serving with these wonderful people.

I know that whatever comes will be for my good. He is watching over me. 

I am still scared. I am still sad. But I will be okay.

I know that my Savior loves me.