159. Halted

So I'm sitting here on the freeway, writing to you from the driver's seat. "Heaven forbid" you cry. "That's so dangerous!" "Put down your phone!" "You're going to get someone killed!" 

Nope. I promise you, the only one who is going to get killed is the mosquito that flew in my open windows. Why? I'm not moving. Not a bit. Those little baby herons (which are adorable!) are moving faster than me. That leaf that just fell off that tree is moving faster than me. That weird looking beetle next to my car is moving faster than me. 

I've had 5 hr 19 min staring at me from Google Maps for the last 17 minutes. At one point today my ETA  was 5:11 PM. It currently reads 7:37 PM. I don't think I'll be able to make that up. 

So, funny stories from this trip so far? Well, about two miles back I told my sister I was grateful that both of my boys were asleep for this mess. About thirty seconds later, Janie got bored, so she poked Berto until he woke up. He was displeased and let her know it. His screaming woke Thomas up. Now Janie is complaining because she's sleepy and Berto won't be quiet and let her fall asleep. Yup.

Let's see, what else? There was a guy in a white car (yeah, that's pretty much as far as my car designations go) who tries to go up the shoulder and get past everyone. I guess he didn't realize that there were two cops about three cars ahead of me. He got pulled over. 

Then there was the lady who rolled her window down to tell me I had my hands full (gee, I had no idea!) and the truck that had BUTT written in the dirt on its rear doors. 

Also, what is the point of a McDonald's without a playplace? Who decided that should be a thing? The whole purpose of going to McDonald's is to let your kids get some energy out. It's certainly not because the food is stellar. 

Speaking of McDonald's (because I'm still at 5 hr 19 min), they currently have mini beanie babies in their happy meals, and though I don't normally care about McDonald's toys, I have to give them (or I guess TY) props for their naming choices. The lion's name is bushy. Makes sense. The seal is Seamore. Clever, right? Twiggy the giraffe, cause he's tall and lanky. Love it. But my favorite is Chocolate. Guess what kind of animal Chocolate is.

Ready for this?

It's a moose...

Ba dum chh!!!

Get it? Major props.

Woo! 5hr 18!

Update: I did eventually get out of the standstill. Additional story: about ten minutes before we got clear of the blockage, the obnoxious guy in the car in front of me gave up and took the "emergency vehicle" crossover. Sucks to be him.

Original ETA 5:11PM

Actual Time of Arrival 9:14PM