28.The Harrowing Tale of My Motorcycle Crash

Today I got in a motorcycle crash.

Okay, it wasn't actually a motorcycle. And it wasn't exactly a crash. More like a...."high speed" tip over.

I say high speed, but I was probably going maaaaaaaaybe ten miles an hour.

Let me explain: my husband has these "electric bicycles" (seriously, if it doesn't have pedals, it isn't a bicycle). They're kinda like training motorcycles for kids or something. They don't go very fast, which is great for wimps like me, but they provide fun for my dear old hubs.

This afternoon we took them out for a ride, just the two of us, in this abandoned bit of acreage near our home. Jay had taken the kids to this particular spot several times, but it was my first time off-roading it (The man only got me on the things a couple months ago by bribing me: he watched the five-hour Pride and Prejudice).

I was doing a pretty darn good job of it, if I do say so myself, sailing over grass tufts, weaving around bushes, and cruising through trenches, until that stupid branch came out of nowhere and attacked me!

And by "attacked me" I mean that the branch was in my path, I swerved to avoid it, noticed too late the low hanging tree on the other side, forgot about the handbrake (a.k.a. Panicked), put my feet down, and gripped the throttle. 

Apparently if you know anything about motorbikes, you are now laughing. If you (like me) don't, here's what happened: my body slowed down (feet) but the bike sped up (throttle). I then attempted to keep my seat as the bike sped forward out of my reach. Then, because I couldn't keep up, I tripped on the bike. 

There was maybe a full second between "oh no there's a tree branch in my face" and "oh no there's dirt in my face."

Pretty sure there was also a strangled scream in there somewhere.

Jay was in front of me and missed the entire thing. He heard the cacophony of my crash, turned around, and saw me sprawled across my bike. Being the noble knight that he is, he came back to make sure I was okay because I wasn't moving.

I was laughing too hard to stand up. 

The bike and I are both fine.